By Jannah Tudiver, MA, RP, CCC
Setting goals… I may have a slight love-hate relationship with this at times! Eat more green veggies. Check. Get more sleep… Um sometimes😊. As the festive season progresses for many, I’m aware of New Year’s Eve on the horizon. This is a time when some people reflect on the year that’s closing and the new year ahead.
Have you ever made – or ‘broken’ - a New Year’s Resolution? If so, what happened? It's likely not a surprise to hear that many of us don’t follow through on these. Some, however, do. Interestingly, health tends to be a top focus for resolutions according to the research. Here are some ideas to help both create and follow through on goals. I've gathered some of these through different resources over time plus a lot of trial and error:).
-Get really clear about the goal. Flesh out the details. How will you know when you’ve met this goal? What will your life or the situation look like? Perhaps scale it, for example, what number would I give this habit now (0-10 = best to worst) versus when I reach my goal (0-10).
-Explore motivation. Why would you be motivated to do this? How ready are you to do this now? For example, are you motivated to improve a health issue so you have more energy to play with your kids? Or start a fun hobby because you want to experience more joy?
-Try a structured format for creating goals and write them down. “S.M.A.R.T.” is one option where we create goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-based. Here’s an article if you’re like more information on how to create these: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/focus-on-forgiveness/202401/5-essential-tips-for-goal-setting
-Find an “accountability buddy.” Is there someone you could check-in with about your goal and progress? Or that you could do for each other? Create or grow your support circle if you can. This can be kind of like a “gym buddy” – if I commit to do this thing I’m more likely to follow through as I’ll have good company and support in it.
-Identify potential obstacles and ways to address this. Consider your past challenges or patterns. For example, perhaps you tend to stick with a new habit for a few weeks and then it fizzles out. If so, what has helped you before to work through this and keep going? What could you do to set yourself up for success this time?
-Structure daily life to support your goal. Can you build in a regular time to do this goal? Perhaps pair it with a current activity you already do – for example, take your new vitamin or say that cool affirmation with your breakfast every day. Or build in rewards for after. I knew someone who put a sticky note on his tv that said to clean his house before he earned his favorite show. ‘Only Murders in the Building’ was much more satisfying after mopping the floors. Ultimately, it helps to create a well-designed system.
-Visualize it. More research is exploring the potential benefits of regularly picturing what you want to have happen. Bonus points if you add positive and encouraging language when you do it. We tend to have a negativity bias, so we may need to be very intentional to overcome this. So if I imagine myself failing, the work is to move towards seeing myself not flopping - so see the parachute opening when we leap😊.
-Try to keep your heart open and express kindness towards yourself. If that’s challenging, you could try, for example, speaking to yourself as if this was a friend or loved one as we tend to be more compassionate with others. Or try some Mindfulness Self-Compassion strategies such as these: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/
Regardless of which strategies you choose, I think the key is to know yourself and figure out what works best for you. I wish you all the best with your goals and the new year ahead.
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